Betrayal/Sneakiness

Betrayal, when you feel as if someone close to you have turned their back on you for many reasons. We all have been through this In our lives. I've been betrayed many times but I never let the situation phase me. What I do is Forgive the person and keep it moving. Forgiving isn't easy doing. You have the people that will steal, talk behind your back as if they never knew you. Sometimes you will find that in people you know FAMILY, close friends and long term co-workers. Why I put family in capital letters? Mainly because these people will get under your skin simply because they know what will piss you off in ways strangers won't know. I've witnessed it. Betrayal is the complete opposite of loyalty and some don't know that. If you have a certain friend and the other friend don't get along with is it ok to trash talk them? No it isn't. Some will do the ultimate dirt to the ones they shouldn't be doing it too. No one should be mistreated in anyway but some people are just careless. Be careful who you trust or vent to. Not everyone wants the best for you. If you have someone that's always stirring up drama is that someone you should be around? Or that person that always down talk and hate on everyone? People like this will only manipulate you and put you in unnecessary drama. I've observed that when someone see's a great friendship or relationship they don't have or never had, they will find ways to break it up simple because they're miserable. They will creep up with they're sneaky ways and tear something great apart. These are the people that act dumb when in reality they're plotting on you. I'm speaking of experience. MISERY LOVES COMPANY.. tell that miserable person misery doesn't live here try next door.

Your Inner Gift..

In life we all are planted with a special inner gift, Some of us don't even know what are talents are or what we can do. We have hairstylist's, fashion designers, weight trainers, singers, dancers etc. But if you don't open your mind to trying new things to figure out what you are best at then you will never know. I could never figure out what was my inner gift and how I can change the world in some way. I tried doing hair.. Definite NO, singing, dancing and so many other things but they all flopped LOL. But I started to realize I had a voice not as in singing but just talking to people. Then I started to write and realize how good I was at it and all the great feedback I was getting. So giving advice, writing on this blog I had so many people tell me how great it was and how this may change a few lives. Immediately I continued to do what I was doing and realized this was my inner gift, writing and talking to others about their life issues and more. Whatever your inner gift is show it out to the world; never for one second doubt what you are good at. Make the world know and understand you in ways you never thought you could be understood, expand your horizons and reach beyond the skies. Greatness lives in you, free it from all the doubts, manipulations and so many other things that will hold you back, from finding you and your  inner gift. Understand you will have people that will not always love what you do, hate, bash and try to put you down never let that phase you, Tell the haters keep it moving. Have a tunnel vision never look back!

Samreya Julie Saintitl, my daughter born August 26, 2010. Most terrifying experience in my life, what was I going to do with a kid i'm not even done with school i'm still in my moms house. So many things were running through my mind. It's been 2 years now with the help of my family and friends it has been successful. My mother was my biggest help, motivator and inspiration. She taught me how to be independent and do what I gotta do for mines. I appreciate my mother more than words can explain. I'm sure it crushed her to find out her youngest was having a baby but she put that aside and continue to love and help me out. This journey is not easy ; sometimes I just wanna scream and run away form all of it, But my daughter means so much to me that I don't have a give up bone in my body. She's comes first to anyone no if and's or buts. I will do whatever it takes just so she can have what she needs. All I see is her and I, no one else. I love you babygirl and it's us against the world. You were meant to be in my life; even if I doubted I wouldn't be the best but I can tell in your eyes you think I am. I am not the richest and I may not be able to buy you all the things in the world but guarantee my Love is worth more than anything.. Godbless you! <3 

Depression

 Depression: A condition of mental disturbance, typically with lack of energy and difficulty in maintaining concentration or interest in life.

 Depression is one of the many killers in this stressful life. I realized that when things don't go as planned or in the order we want them to go we seem to feel hopeless and down. Things happen in everyday life to get us into the depression stage. A loved one passing away, NO income, breakups and so much more that people go through in their lives. But how do we get through life thinking negative? If you let you mind control you without thinking then you'll be a lost case maybe a bit confused. Depression will have you locked in a room missing out on life. We all experienced depression and it's not fun at all. When I lost my mother my way out was spending money and eating. My mind took control without me controlling it. spent money that I should of been saving eating a full course meal maybe 5 times a day. My depression took over my mind but I had to realize my mother wouldn't want me doing what I was doing. So before you start to doubt and go into the depression stage pray, to be honest everything in life we go through is a test of faith that God is putting us through. All he ask is for us to trust what He has in store for us. And I know most ya'll are tired of hearing this, I was the same way. But look at it this way; don't you realize when you stop worrying things start to unfold? those jobs you applied for, that car you want, that relationship you been waiting for just relax don't get yourself worked up continue to have faith and know that when things start to reveal you've past the test of faith. Easier said then done but trust and believe prayer heals and changes everything. Don't just pray.. pray with your faith and all that you have. Even if you don't have the words to say He already knows what you're trying to say. Don't let depression make your life decision. 

Monday Mornings.

Everyone hates Monday mornings, we feel like it's such a BLAH day but look at it this way it's another week of fresh accomplishments so when Friday actually comes you can celebrate them.Out of the few I love Mondays, I feel as if Mondays gives you another start over on the things you went to get done that you couldn't get done last week. I thank God for Mondays I love fresh starts and started over if I have too. I hope you all enjoy this Monday like it's your last, do something today that you didn't do last week or that assignment that you forgot to finish. Enjoy and appreciate Monday mornings because the weekends are the days you will enjoy relaxation from Mondays hard work. Don't drag through this day when there is a lot you can enjoy out of your Monday. Make the best out of it and get things done today and start it all over next week. Be open minded, Mondays are the best and so is the weekends.. Mon-Thursday get things done and Fri-Sunday are the fun days. LOL enjoy your Monday loves ;) <3

Respect..

Respect is key, it's number one. You should never allow someone or people to walk all over you and disrespect you. All my life I had a voice; I speak upon how I feel but always respected others. Some people just don't have no type of respect; say and do whatever they please; this will get you nowhere, being nasty all the time. Learning how to talk to people is how you can get around in this world and some don't realize that. When you go into an interview they take a good look at how decent you look, then you start to talk so i'm sure when you're at an interview you gotta be at your best when you're speaking. So why is it so hard to do that in your everyday life? In this lifetime everyone's mind are drifted, shifted they  disrespect the ones that actually care and want the best for them. I don't care what situation you are in with that person there should be some level of respect. I'm so sick of people disrespecting me and i'm sure many of you are too.It's time to get the scissors; Cut off the disrespect in your life because it gets draining when you are looking for respect from that one person and you never receive it. If you are dealing with someone(Relationship,Friends,Family..ETC.)  it takes 2 with everything ya'll do. So when you're not being met half way this complicates things so there is not balance.At the end of the day I realized everyone doesn't deserve your respect. To get is to give.. Enjoy!

Loyalty

Loyalty-the state or quality of being loyal; faithfulness to commitments or obligations.
 Being loyal, is like a loyal dog. A dog will be loyal to his owner no if, and's or buts. Us as humans we throw this word around lightly not knowing the true meaning of it. Loyalty is like a commitment. Being loyal to your family, close friends and in relationships. We all had a time when we fell off with someone but your loyalty should always stand strong no matter what; never lose your loyalty just because someone wasn't being loyal to you. Keep your ways just the way it is. You are bound to get hurt and you will also hurt others, even if you're not trying to do it intentionally. I've learned that in life it's going to be a cycle of being hurt, let down, lack of trust, dishonesty, also being disloyalty. My loyalty grew on how I've been hurt in the past. Being loyal to family making sure that with out a doubt that you will not get out without a fight if they're being mistreated in a certain way, You feel its's your duty to support and be behind them no matter what the case may be. Not letting anyone speak upon them without you snapping just because your loyalty stand strong behind them. That also goes for your close friends, mates etc. Just being there for that person when they are in need supporting them, bringing them positive atmosphere. Committing yourself to being loyal to these people you surround yourself with. But wait, not everyone is to be treated as such, So be careful and make sure you can tell the difference from the people that are for you and the ones that are not. Always keep your third eye open.

Vous Etes Belle Dames (You Are Beautiful Ladies)

To all my ladies you are beautiful no matter what you've been told. Naturally, or with weave, makeup and all the things some of us girls like to wear. I've witnessed many beautiful women that cannot except how beautiful they're just because they've been told many times they're not attractive. Some of us become very insecure for many reasons and the main one is simply because a guy told them their look wasn't good enough, so they do whatever it takes just to please that person but to be honest if he really liked or wanted you he would of seen passed your looks. Ladies stop trying to look or do what the next girl is doing; you are you; make your beauty beautiful and appreciate it. I know every girl went through the stage that they wanted the butt, tits; flat stomach but wait... who are you really doing it for? for you or the public's eye? I've learned to except me, if a guy don't like my weave, lashes, acrylics then he can keep it moving because this is what I like. I dress for me I don't care for seasons or what's hot or not. Some care for it but that's them; their personality. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, love you and be confident in anything with your appearance just because that's how you felt that day. Don't sit home going crazy like what should I wear just because you are afraid what someone else is going to say/think . To hell with them live freely in everything that you do. Stop letting the world stop you from being YOU!

Run From Negativity..

When I say run from negativity, I mean run. If you see someone that's always talking down and just have a plain ol negative mindset this is not someone you should associate yourself with. Growing up I've probably had all types of friends the fake, liar, flaw, wannabe; the list goes on but the older you get you realize who should be or out your inner circle. People that just talks about everyone all day everyday is someone you shouldn't be involved with, 9/10 they talking about you with the next set of people. Negativity is around you 24/7 , there's a few negative people in your family, work place, church; schools. Having positive surroundings only makes you want to do and be better. Seeing your friends pushing you and telling you "You can do it" that's a great feeling and it only makes you want to motivate and inspire the next person, just because you feel people can believe in you so why not believe in others? God has blessed me with a few haters, doubters but he blessed me with 5 handfuls of believers and that simply outweighs the negativity. No one can take your joy but yourself, keep the doubters and haters wondering why and if they ask simply tell them you ran away from negativity and your back to the positive views of life. STAY FOCUSED! don't stray back to negativity it's no good for the mind, body and spirit.

This Life.. This Society.. **Rip Bizzle**

Last night I witnessed how hurt and confused my guy friend was about one of his brothers dying(bizzzle) I stayed up texting him and all he could say was he was hurt smh. Society today is twisted, manipulated; simply lost. Realizing how some people are very careless and not have a thought in their mind about this person's kids, family and friends. One other thing i'm so sure of is that no one is to be trusted with anything that your trying to do in life; hate has become bigger than it ever was, Instead of doing something that you can possibly succeed from you would rather hate on the next person to take their glory, their blessings? I don't see what most get out of it. Life is very unpredictable, we never know what will happen in the next hour or even couple of minutes. Living life, keeping your business to yourself and you circle as small as you can and sometimes it may not even form a circle which is fine; having all the friends, trying to be down is not a good look it can only get you caught up in things you never even planned on getting caught up in. People will be plotting on you and you don't even know it. The people you may call your friends/ bestie/ clostie or whatever ya'll be saying now a days may not be the person you think they are, before putting titles read and get to know the person because a few have many different faces and will use the one to show you that they're "Real" when in reality they're just using you for something you have. Be careful out here the devil is playing tricks on most of us and using the people close to us, keep your eyes and ears open and trust your first instinct. Only In God We Trust!

Tu Es Mon Soleil (french)*you can Google for the meaning in English*

Tu es mon soleil, 
Eclaires mes jours, mes nuits
Tu es mon soleil
Tu es l'homme de ma vie

Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh {x4}

Tu es mon soleil, 
Illumines mes jours, mes nuits
Tu m'émerveilles
Tu nourris mes envies
C'n'est plus pareil depuis tu es parti
Toute seule j'essaye, mais ce nous me poursuit

Je donnerai ma vie tu sais
Pour te suivre
J'aimerai changer le passé
Je veux vivre
Auprés de toi je resterai
Je m'enivre
De toi et tous les secrets
Qui nous lient à jamais

Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh {x4}

Tu es mon soleil
La lumière qui me guide
Dans mon sommeil
Tu dessines mes rêves aussi
Tu es l'arc-en-ciel qui a coloré ma vie
Tu es mon soleil
Tu es mon meilleur ami
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/p/princess_lover/tu_es_mon_soleil.html ]
Je voudrai plus plus qu'une amitié
Je suis ivre
Pour toi je ne peux me contenter
D'être libre
De pouvoir seulement te parler
Je veux vivre
Avec toi être à tes côtés
Et poursuivre
Ce rêve en réalité

Être à tes cotés
C'est ma destiné
C'est ma destiné
Tu es ma destiné

{Choeur: x4}
Si tu veux de moi

Emmène-moi
(Si tu veux de moi)
Si tu veux de moi
(Si tu veux de moi)
Emmène-moi
(Si tu veux de moi)

Emmène-moi ou tu veux
(Si tu veux de moi)
Emmène-moi si tu veux
(Si tu veux de moi)

Emmène-moi
(Si tu veux de moi)
Si tu veux de moi
(Si tu veux de moi)

Je ne laisserai jamais les autres
(Si tu veux de moi)
(Si tu veux de moi)
Briser ce qui existe
(Si tu veux de moi)
Si tu veux de moi
(Si tu veux de moi)

Emmène-moi
(Si tu veux de moi)
Si tu veux de moi
(Si tu veux de moi) 
(Si tu veux de moi)
(Si tu veux de moi)

Emmène-moi si tu veux
(Si tu veux de moi)
Emmène-moi où tu veux
(Si tu veux de moi)

Emmène-moi
(Si tu veux de moi)
Si tu veux de moi
(Si tu veux de moi) 
(Si tu veux de moi)
(Si tu veux de moi)

**I Over love this song its in french but you can also google the lyrics in english!** enjoy

Enjoy Life..

Life is short I really realized this when my mother passed away going on 5 months ago, I am my mothers keeper we thought and did the same things. Growing up watching my mother she was so strong; she didn't need for nothing; taking care of everyone. We had house parties for every occasion I mean EVERY occasion, My mother never let life stopped her from enjoying life so why should I? I realized last night I love the company I keep, these people will never steer me wrong and they keep it 1,000 all the time and I appreciate that. But someone like me music lives in me I love to dance, party enjoy life. I'm not saying to party Monday-Sunday but sometimes you can step out. To some people partying isn't their kind of fun; "They been there done that" BUT me I do me, my own thing and that doesn't make me a bad person that make me, ME.! I am truly IN love with life if i can live it forever I would so I can share my stories to my great, great, great grand kids. But unfortunately we all have to die die so take this time to enjoy life and thank God for every day you get to see.

Addiction..

You're my addiction, good but so unhealthy. every time I get a dose of you I feel so good, but every time I get an overdose it feels so wrong. I want to let go of this nasty habit, I don't want your doses anymore I need therapy to stay away from you. How can I love you when you continuously hurt me and make me weak? you are no good for me how come I can't seem to flee? when I leave I be so certain, then you come back then I become uncertain. I say repeatedly in my head maybe one last time, maybe this time it won't hurt, maybe something is different but every time its the same medicine, this medicine doesn't do to well for my immune system, I need to throw this all up. Lets leave each other alone. I gotta get back to me, the real ME, and you get back to the real YOU. when I see you again maybe things will be alright, maybe we both will be healthy again and pray this cycle of addiction doesn't come back.

Unexpected Love..

Unexpected love? something that just comes out of nowhere you didn't see it coming.
Unexpected love: when you're not even looking and this amazing person just comes along unexpectedly; scary but such a happy surprise.
Unexpected Love:  just when you least expected it, this person showed you exactly how you wanted to be loved..
Unexpected love: when you heard of true love but you never expected to find it in that person.
Unexpected Love: when you assumed that you will never find love when love was in your face but your patience had you doubting.

**Love is most beautiful when it just happens when it happens. Not when its forced that's when it isn't real. When its time for you to be with the one you love i'm sure it will happen unexpectedly and you probably don't even know who its going to be with but trust and believe that love will be the best love.!!**

The Process..

Another beautiful day isn't it? My life was already written before my mother envisioned of having me. See, God  does what He wants when He wants, not to hurt us but sometimes so we can learn and understand half the things WE as flesh put ourselves through could of been prevented but we have a rebellious heart and soul. I can't sit here and tell you I know every word of the bible and what everything mean but here me out. God tests out our faith in every situation in life, in our marriages, work place, school ETC but sometimes we get so wrapped up in worrying and stressing we forget that the battle we are ALWAYS trying to fight ourselves isn't ours, IT'S NOT OURS!!!! i'm pretty sure we all heard that saying "Let Go Let God" this means all the barriers, baggage's its time to bring it to the person that can truly handle it. This is more easier said than done yes I know but I started to realize everything we go through is a process, some of us lose a job, fail a test, broke and just feel lost you start to lose yourself but here's one of the many simple things He asks from us and that's "Faith" we tend to lack this because we don't really know the true meaning of it. He say's in Matthew 7:7 * Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.* You may pray all day everyday and ask for something but how can you ask Him for something and go out on your own to get it when maybe in Gods plan whatever you were asking for was meant for you to get it in the next 2 years? its a process you ask, pray, have faith and simply WAIT! Gods timing will never fail you his timing will have all things in order in your life. Let it all go its worth it trust me ya'll. I'm going through a process as i'm writing this, this process is making me grow spiritually slowly but surely things will be in order not on my time on His because we don't know what's best for us He DOES!!!!!. here's a bible verse about faith i forgot to add this: Matthew 17:20 * He replied, "Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."*

Her..

when you see her, you may see: happiness, fun, funny, outspoken, outgoing. but you don't know her. you don't know whats going on in her life or how hurt, unhappy she is. stop judging the cover of her book when you haven't took the time to read her. She loves even when she gets hurt, she gives not caring if she will ever receive. She sleeps hoping she wakes ups to the beautiful birds chirping the flowers that grows through the concrete because she tells herself that she has to get out of this unhappiness some way some how.. So she writes, she writes what she knows and what she's been through. You don't know her so stop talking about her, she is different she IS the flower that grows through the concrete, she is strong never complaining when the struggle hits her so hard that she might can't even stand straight for a couple of days no worries because she bounces back like the struggle never even pushed or shoved her. this is she, her, ME!

A Guys Feelings..

This topic inspired me by one of my guy friends. One thing about a guy they're hard at putting themselves out there or simply falling in love. Because, guys are very different from us girls. They're not the ones to be in and out of relationships not knowing how it is to be single. One other thing I realized about a guy is a few of them are very picky and its not on purpose but they're very careful when it comes to choosing the ones they want to be in a relationship with, they don't want the kind of girls that every guy knows everywhere he takes her ESP in the hood he resides in. Ladies when a guy is single he is not a "DOG" he can do whatever he pleases because he is not  with one specific person, now if he's with someone and he is out there like an untamed dog then that's a different story. Sometimes us ladies tend to get upset when we don't get the attention we expected with the certain someone we're with but instead of getting upset get to the bottom of why it's so hard for him to get emotional or to even commit. Commitment and trust are a big thing to guys. The thing that I also picked up from guys are that when they get hurt by someone they really felt for its a warp for all the others and that's something a guy will never admit is that they've been hurt before. Don't make it so hard to read a guy when it's very simple. Not all guys are the emotional type some of them have to be taught how to care and love all over again.

never leave the one you love for the one you like

So we all know this saying very well, and there was an incident with Chris brown and his love triangle. We all know he was head over heels over rihanna and the break up tore them apart and he moved to the beautiful kurrache. Chris brown recently said in a video he made and said "can you love 2 people" actually you can, but to be IN love with two people is impossible. Well this is how I feel once you are  pushed and forced to leave the one you love you have to play a role like I don't care I can move on easily but when in reality you're moving on to prove people something. You're not moving on to find someone that can make you happier basically a "Rebound". See here's the thing you move on not knowing you might end up liking or loving this person and when you end up falling it becomes something drastic because your heart is not fully in it like the other person. So now your hearts not a 100% in it is only hurting the person this is why i say its best to find yourself and fully understand what you want out of life and figure out this is how i want things to be in my next relationship, because when you jump back in relationships back to back then you'll never know or fully understand what you really want until you get to know the real you and what you really want out of a mate. So when you finally figure that out you will never have a problem with finding someone you really want or if someone wants you, you will have a clear understanding if you want to pursue a relationship with this person or not because you can finally say I know me and I know what I really want. STOP looking for a rebound and search for yourself, inner wants and needs.

Single Mothers/Fathers

Being a Single mother or just a mother is no joke, its a heavy weight but such a joyful responsibility. Kids are a gift from God and are such amazing blessings. I really don't see how some woman/men can just leave a woman/men  to be a single mother/father. Becoming a mother/father all things that you use to do have to come to a stop and it isn't about you anymore. your child's hunger comes before yours. And some people cant handle that just yet and i don't blame them. There is more to a child then doing the hair and buying them the fly kicks and clothes. it's all about raising the child, teaching them, watching them grow to be better than you ever were loving them unconditionally. Its a lot of work to do it alone, and i don't see or even understand how can you make a child and just leave them? its not hurting anyone but yourself. Watching a child grow with all the little steps: crawling, walking, talking, sending them off to daycare all these things are a sight to see. Rethink before having a kid(s) because its a big responsibility and if its something you can't handle don't put yourself in that situation and if you are in that situation where you are doing it all alone, stand firm and be strong God will never fail you.

This Is Real!

This is real, life is real everything that goes on is real. Real Life real people so surround yourself around real things and real people. Some are built so fake they believe their own lies these kind of people are hard to come across because they "ACT" real. when you have a group of friends or even family observe everything they do, everything may be peachy but it is never peachy for long. this is how I see things: you mess up once, i forgive and move on... Peace! and that goes for everyone that i surround myself around "NO SYMPATHY" if you allow someone to diss you over and over again and never approach the situation then they will continue to do it. Well I mean in this world you will have people talk about you all the time, but leave that up to the strangers the people that are close to you shouldnt be talking bad about you to others at all. Or if you have a friend and someone comes to that friend talking bad about you that friend shouldnt allow it at all, and if that friend does allow it 9 out of 10 shes been talking negative about you too. This world has completely took the word "LOYAL" for play. be loyal to yourself and you will be loyal to others, just like love everyone  throws the word loyalty around not knowing the true meaning of it. Well my advice to all watch the people around you not everyone you keep around are suppose to be around.